10,000 songs in your digestive tract

Advanced orders for Apple’s new smaller iPod have rocketed this week in response to the BPI’s “purge on pirates” warning. Consumer tests have shown the new iPod mini, available in a range of candy-colours, is 75% easier to swallow in the event of a BPI raid than the previous “chunky” version. Headphones with an extra-long wire and a pamplet on intestinal exercises can be bought from the Apple website to ease post-ingestion play.