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Bibles spread super disease

News in Brief: Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

a disease spreading bibleHospitals in Leicester UK are considering removing bedside Bibles due to recent suggestions that they spread disease. “Our own trials have confirmed these suggestions” said Hospital director Dr. Blackbile. “The trials clearly show that Bibles spread disease, specifically the super bug Christianity.”

The Christianity disease is unique in that it spreads through not only human contact but through most forms of human communication including, as in this case, the written word. Christianity uses the promise of infinite love and happiness to lure victims, who are very quickly overcome with “faith” and soon succumb to prayer.

But Brian Leaklittle, executive director of Gideons International headquarters, situated at the centre of the earth in a reality-proof bunker said: “They are saying that Christianity can cause death, and we say that is nonsense. I know of no Christian who died due to his involvement in Christianity. Well, except for that Jesus bloke.”

A recent British Medical Journal article made recommendations to help slow the spread of Christianity. “Firstly, flourinate the water supply. Secondly, biometric ID cards. Thirdly, invade Syria.”. A brittle-boned BMJ spokesperson explained the work behind the study. “We did some statistical analysis. Lots of numbers; lots of them. We used lots of averaging.”

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4 Responses to “Bibles spread super disease”

  1. mark daniel Says:

    I was saddened when I read this article. Your view of Christianity is not at all in-line with what the reality of Christianity is – but sadly – IS in line with the version of Christianity that many churches have and do preach today. I would love to talk more with you about these lies – and answer any questions you might have. I pray that your day is peaceful – and that that peace softens your heart (for we all need that :-)

    Mark Daniel Miller

  2. Anonymous Says:

    haha good one. yeah Christianity is a real mental disease. But so are Islam, Hinduism, most other religions, humanism, marxism, liberalism, communism (The last four are all the children of christianity). I think Judaism is an exception though, only as far as the jewish people are concerned.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    OMG Every christian says the church has some weird version of christianity.

    I’ve seen someone saying this about 20 times.


  4. Kentan Says:

    Haha, I like your site (well, from the two ‘articles’ i have read so far, anyway) but I think people should just calm down a little bit. It’s a bit of fun guys, calm down. No need to start a religion war because some other guys actually had the balls and comedic intelligence to create/post this stuff.

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