Got the Windows, but not the shutter

William Gates III, founder of MicroSoft, has today revealed that he will take the opportunity of his upcoming keynote speech at Sharmans Cross Infant School (Solihull, UK) to talk about a new software distribution initiative to be officially unfurled within the next three months.

The news comes in a fiscal climate of an ever-weakening dollar, which has recently allowed Ingvar Kamprad (IKEA founder) to overtake Bill as the world’s richest man. Bill’s latest move, seen by some as a kneejerk reaction to this up-and-coming upstart, will see MicroSoft shipping its software in component form and giving the users the tools to assemble it themselves, cutting out vital overheads in the product distribution process.

In future, computer users will be given the source code to the Windows operating system, a pre-built compiler and a selection of Allen keys. The customer will then have to build the operating system before they can begin using the computer. An added complication is that MicroSoft’s licensing system requires that users not look at the source code. To get around this problem the software giant will provide a blindfold and some dummy source code so that users can practice their compiling technique first, perhaps in low-light conditions.