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Morrisey Dead of Healthy Living

News in Brief: Saturday, July 3rd, 2004

Morrissey deadMancunian marvel Morrissey met his maker on Monday after having a karmic cardial infarction, caused by decades of healthy living and going to bed early. Morrissey, a lifelong vegetarian and all round stroppy nancy, stammered “look, either those curtains go or I do” then fell facedown on his kitchen floor. During the postmortem, he was found to be clutching a soyburger in one hand and a copy of the Dixie Chick-authored pamphlet “One controversial comment and watch album sales soar!” in the other. The soyburger has been taken in for questioning.

Fellow former Smith Johnny Marr mourned his passing: “we tried to warn him but he was wreckless. You can’t eat muesli for breakfast every day of your life, you just can’t”. His gravestone is to read “I can’t believe that twit Marr outlived me”.

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4 Responses to “Morrisey Dead of Healthy Living”

  1. Shelly Williams Says:

    Wow, I’m sure it took you all day to think up something as clever as that.

    Did you not know that David Bowie had a severe heart attack at 57 due to eating too much meat?

    I hope you choke on your hamburger.

  2. Shelly Williams eats cock Says:

    Shelly, get a sense of humour you daft twat.

  3. Axel Flagg Says:

    Real funny! I actually thought for a moment that it was for real. How confusing! Long live pranksters. Don’t ya think so?

  4. andrè Says:

    i’ve seen who morrissey is dead… so young, is it a stupid joke?

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