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Obesity linked to terrorism

News in Brief: Tuesday, July 27th, 2004

Fat PigRt Hon Geoff Hoon MP has joined his cabinet colleagues in supporting the fight against obesity. “The health risks of obesity have long been known,” said Hoon from his palacial Ashfield mansion earlier today, “but the true cause of the problem is only now coming to light: we have strong intelligence reports that Al Qaeda is to blame. They are smuggling obesity-causing apparatus, technically known as Clandestine Adulterated Killing Equipment (CAKE), into the UK which is high in both fat and sugar, and also death. They are then using cells dotted throughout the UK to surreptitiously allow infiltration of this CAKE into the diets of normal healthy people and from there, obesity grows. This is not just a problem for the government, this is a problem for everyone.”

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