Security Pundit Trapped

CNN military pundit Chip Chukowski was discovered trapped today in his armchair. Police spokesperson Burger McPepsi said “Mr Chukowski had become the victim of catastrophic armchair failure”.

Witnesses say he was “right in the middle of a lofty sounding quote from Jane’s Defence when BAM! The armchair just swallowed him right up.” Shock and awe spread quickly throughout the Armchair Generals Guild, who declined to comment for a change.