The White House has been forced to apologise for misleading the world over Saddam Hussein. The Bush administration repeatedly made claims that Saddam was the devil incarnate, had links with Al Qa’ida, shot JFK, framed Michael Jackson and OJ, caused the US economy to slump causing mass unemployment, invented the vile “New Coke” recipe in the 1980s and has athelete’s foot. After extensive investigation, an independent commission (sponsored by Mysil, the bestselling anti-fungal powder for feet) has found no evidence to back up any of the suggestions made by the White House.
A humbled Dick Cheney read a short prepared statement on the matter: “we had strong reasons to believe the information that we had received regarding Mr Hussein was true. We were not just repeating rumours in a game of Chinese whispers: we had been given the information in both MS Word and Powerpoint form. We thought it was fact but now I have personally washed the extremities in question and I can say, without a doubt, there was no flaking of the skin whatsoever. We’re sorry.”